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Our compulsive behaviors set us up to be rejected and unloved by the very people whose acceptance and love we most desire. If we win, we lose. This is the inevitable result of the Negative Love Syndrome. The Negative Love Syndrome has a stranglehold on us. It cuts off our ability to love freely. As adults, we pay dearly for our negative identification with our parents. In effect, we sell our souls. For example, in our relationships, we unconsciously try to recapture Mommy's or Daddy's love, choosing partners who manifest traits like Mommy or Daddy, or both. Projecting our parents unconsciously and automatically onto our lovers, authority -igures, bosses, friends, colleagues, or teachers is known as transference . This recreates our early family system and projects the horror of the Negative Love Syndrome into the present time. The result is resistance, conflict, and rejecting or being rejected, heartbreak, and loss. As adults we act like frightened eight year olds who would do almost anything to avoid pain, yet resist help. As adults we do not really have to withdraw or to pretend the pain does not exist, but Negative Love Syndrome causes us to believe that we cannot deal with difficult tasks. We spend our lives avoiding the causes of the problems in our lives, afraid that facing our pain will hurt too much and hoping that it will somehow just disappear. By modeling that they were incapable of dealing with suffering, however, our parents misled us. It's not true. Our attachment to Negative Love programming can be released, and our positive real self is always there. Due to their own childhood programming, our parents did not know how to nourish us, our perfect essence. Their own essences were not nourished by their parents. They were never taught to honor, respect, and love themselves, so how could they give to us what they never had? Had they been able to honor themselves, they would have honored us, and we would have been nourished with love and developed a strong sense of inner security. « back | next
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phone: 800/506-5253 or 415/485-5220 · email: enrollment@hoffmaninstitute.org |
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