By Shawn McAndrew
As each person walks through the classroom door on the first day of the Process, there is a part of her or him that may feel broken. That’s one of the reasons we’re there – to heal the perceived brokenness, to become whole again.
Are You Destroying Or Creating?
I recently read an entry in Mark Nepo’s The Book of Awakening, in which he suggests that destroying or healing the world depends on whether we pull things apart or put things together.
There is a fluidity to this idea: Each of us dismantles things and assembles things at various times throughout life. We do this in the Process from the very beginning, by uncovering patterns to understand what doesn’t work in our lives any more. Then, through the Cycle of Transformation (awareness – expression – compassion & forgiveness – new behavior), we put our lives together again, reforming who we are in the world based on our true essences.
Each time a person steps through that door, he or she has made a commitment to become a better person, to take apart what’s not working and to create a whole person again.
Four Aspects – Becoming Whole
Breaking it down, we have four aspects of self – Intellect, Emotional Self, Body, and Spiritual Self. The first three are influenced by everything we encounter from the day we’re born. Each of these three aspects can be built up or torn down by all the influences of our childhoods. We carry those influences into adulthood, and act or react accordingly. Only our Spiritual Self remains whole – unbroken by the winds and waves that knock about our bodies, intellects, and emotions.
This spiritual aspect of who we are is the foundation upon which we create and assemble our wholeness. It is the bedrock that keeps us from destruction, if only we turn to it and listen. Each time we can tune into that voice of guidance, love and reason, we can be whole. We can operate from a place of unity.
Pulling It Together
Being unintegrated can destroy self-worth, relationships, connection, self-love. In the Process, we do an exercise with the body, intellect, and emotional child in which each aspect learns how to integrate with the others, to work and exist as a whole being. When we complete this exercise, everyone is silent – physically, mentally, and emotionally. For many of us, this is the first time we have heard this silence, this peace of mind and heart. We are not beating up ourselves; we’re not beating up others; we are not taking apart our worlds. We have just put together our Selves. And how glorious is that?
When you find yourself battling the world, tearing apart things that are pushing your buttons, pull yourself together! Look to your Spiritual Self for the glue that will make you whole again. Do a Quadrinity Check-in; take a Self-Forgiveness, Self-Love Walk; do some tools work; meditate; find peace.
This work is an internal process, but it has an external effect. As you heal yourself, so, too, you are helping to heal the whole world.