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Let go of the battle. Breathe quietly and let it be. Let your body relax and your heart soften. Open to whatever you experience without fighting. – Jack Kornfield

By Shawn McAndrew

It seems I’m doing a lot of letting go these days, or at least trying to let go. A lot is going on in my personal life, and I am learning how to let others help me, trust that those who are supposed to help me will, and let go of trying to control how things unfold and how/when people show up.

Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it. – Ann Landers

As I reflect on all the activities that are swirling around me and trying to allow things to flow, I am reminded of my grandmother. She liked to control things. One of her goals was to try and have things in order and know what was coming down the road. I must have picked up this controlling pattern from her at some point. I know I picked up her fear of being alone as she grew old. That was a pattern I bashed and made peace with many years ago, post-Process.

Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. – Lao Tzu

Now I get to look at this pattern of control. Intellectually and spiritually, I know this is not my pattern. It is something I learned from my grandmother, and it is not mine to continue to carry throughout life. Emotionally, I want to know that what I envision is actually going to happen. These past few months have proven that is rarely what plays out.

There are two ways to be. One is at war with reality, and the other is at peace. – Byron Katie

I find that the more I try to control an outcome, the harder I grip onto that vision. And when it doesn’t happen as I had wished, I fall into disappointment, fear, beating up myself, and self-blame – all vicious cycle material!

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. – Lao Tzu

I am surrounded by supportive and wise friends, family, and co-workers. Each one of them has a perspective that is different than mine. As I talk through some of my fears and disappointments, they help me get through to the other side of these patterns. I also have so many Hoffman tools at hand to help me get through these times. Most importantly, I have my spiritual self and spirit guide to whom I can turn and seek guidance.

To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own. – Jack Kornfield

Without a support system, we may suffer more than necessary. We cannot do life without each other. Our communities contribute greatly in helping us let go of trying to control outcomes. I know for myself that I am working at letting go. I am using my tools and practices to release the control pattern and other patterns that contribute to this inability to let go.

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. – E. M. Forster

One of the things we explore during the Spirit Guided Visioning virtual program is how much authority our Dark Side has over us. We think that Dark Side voice is the truth and is full of reason. It sounds like our original authority (our parents), whose job it was to keep us safe. This voice now holds us back, shaming and criticizing, filling us with self-doubt, and keeping us from showing up and shining from Spirit.

Let go of becoming but never let go of taking action. Stop expecting and start living. – Maxime Lagacé

When we learn to let go of these old messages – the uncertainty, the needing to control what’s in front of us – we can focus on what we truly want, what best serves us from spirit. We can take the steps we need to take in order to show up and shine. At first it may seem impossible and very hard to release that control, but the feeling I get when I let go of trying to force an outcome is that of freedom, flowing, and being spirit-embodied.

Cry. Forgive. Learn. Move on. Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness. – Steve Maraboli

  • gary shunk


    11/02/21 at 9:48 AM

    Thank you Shawn! This really resonated with me. I see you. I hear you. I appreciate you. Gary

    • Shawn


      11/02/21 at 2:23 PM

      You’re welcome, Gary. I appreciate you, too!

  • Brenda


    11/02/21 at 12:15 AM

    I too resonate with your words of wisdom and discovery Shawn. The ability to let go is a powerful one… The times I am able to do it I feel free and light. So appreciate your heartfelt shares.

    • Shawn


      11/02/21 at 2:24 PM

      Thanks, Brenda. It is an amazing feeling when I can let go completely. Spirit-led!

  • Nancy


    11/01/21 at 2:21 PM

    You’re such an inspiration to me, Shawn. I love your devotion to the truth, and that you extend a hand to others to share your discoveries.
    But, who knew Ann Landers carried such wisdom.
    I love you!

    • Shawn


      11/01/21 at 2:50 PM

      Thanks, Nancy. You’re an inspiration, too. I used to read Ann Landers’ column when I was growing up. She was quite a wise woman!

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