By Freddie Camozzi
My father was sitting in the driver’s seat, my brother and two sisters in the back seat, and I was in the “way back” of our ’67 Ford Fairlane wagon. The car was idling in the driveway while we were waiting and waiting for my mother, who was still in the house, “putting on her face.”
This was the memory that flashed in my mind one morning at the fancy-pants Marin County gym I go to, as I was trying to explain my reticence for wearing makeup to another member in the women’s locker room. I have a knee-jerk, no-can-do reaction when it comes to me spending time in the mirror. I get embarrassed looking in the mirror and mortified if someone catches me doing so.
Don’t get me wrong, there have been times (high school reunions, weddings, etc.) when I’ve thrown myself on the counter at Benefit or Nordstrom’s and begged for help, but, deep down, I always feel uncomfortable.
Being Our True Selves
At Hoffman, I identified the patterns that no longer serve me and learned about the importance of self-love. During the Dark Side Bash at the Process, we are instructed to not wear makeup or clothing with logos. The idea for this is to be our true selves as we confront the negative messages and patterns that keep us from being whole and living from spirit. There are so many ways we learn to “mask” ourselves during childhood. The Dark Side Bash was an opportunity to just “be me.”
Makeup & New Endings
On New Year’s Day, I heard this quote by Chico Xavier in a yoga class:
“Though nobody can go back and make a new beginning… Anyone can start over and make a new ending.”
I’m working on it; some days I even put on a little makeup.
Tools you can use:
https://www.hoffmaninstitute.org/audio-tools/ and click on Dark Side Check