Moving From Why to How
By Shawn McAndrew
So many things are pulling our attention these days – politics, pandemics, polarizations. There is a bevy of folks trying to find answers to how and why things have shifted so dramatically over the past many months. Are they finding answers, or just getting mired down in the details of why?
The “Why” May Not Be Important
For many conundrums, there may be no answers. The “why” may not be important. Things happen. Life happens. When major shifts occur in our routines, humans tend to scramble to try and control the outcomes. That is a survival instinct. Sometimes we can do something about circumstances. Sometimes they just are.
We are powerless over others’ actions. We can only take responsibility for our actions and keep our side of the street clean and in order. When life throws us a curveball, we may fall into old behaviors, reacting from patterns. We are human. The important thing in these times is to stay aware of what we’re doing, feeling, and thinking.
Step Into Moving From Why to How
If I catch myself in a pattern or vicious cycle, it’s an opportunity to step back, go through the Cycle of Transformation, and rewire old behaviors into new ways of being. I can ask “why” in regard to why I reacted the way I did. To ask why someone is doing something hurtful to me is okay, and I can take it a step further and ask why I am reacting to the other person’s words or actions.
So many things can show up with this question: Discovering what patterns are activated. Understanding where I learned these patterns and how I adopted or rebelled against them. Taking the opportunity to explore transference, compassion, forgiveness, and ultimately transforming negative patterns into positive actions and attitudes.
Live and Love From Spirit
So much of what we do in the Hoffman Process is about moving from “why” to “how” – how to live and love more fully from Spirit, how to forgive ourselves and others, how to have more joy and optimism. We learn how to be responsible for our feelings, thoughts, and actions.
Moving from why to how takes work, and in doing so we are committing to being better humans and living from Spirit. That is “why” enough for me.