“No star is ever lost
We once have seen.
We always may be
What we might have been.”
-Adelaide Anne Proctor
By Julie Daley
On the first night of the Process, as we all did, I met my Spirit Guide. He told me that the twinkling light in my eyes is my Spirit shining through. When I heard this, I instantly smiled. Why? Because I recognized something I already knew inside, something I knew when I was young, something that had been covered over with weeds and brambles and all manner of things that caused me to forget.
At that moment, as I sat with my eyes closed, images passed through me of the child I once was: bright-eyed, alive with joy, shining with Light, and a big heart full of love just waiting to shower the world.
I remember how, slowly over time, the dark forgetfulness of the world had begun to feel too much to try to meet with such love. I grew disHEARTened. Sad tendrils grew around my heart, brambles around what was once so bright.
I TURNED AWAY FROM THE LIGHT
As things began to feel darker and darker, the brilliant star in the center of my heart grew dimmer and dimmer. Waiting somewhere deep inside me was someone I knew I could become. But I felt way too vulnerable, and it was risky to be my true self in this world that had seemingly forgotten the Light. In what felt like a snap of the fingers, I decided to hide to survive. I turned away from the Light. I made my own way. Not the way of the Light, it was the way of absolutely necessary survival.
Made up of my own idea of certainty, I stepped onto this Left Road. It had a rigidity upon which I could depend. I watched and listened and made choices based on what would keep me on this Left Road. After all, it was safe, it was certain, it was real… or so I made myself believe.
Over the years, my muscles held this rigidity like a warrior on the front lines of a war I couldn’t name. I thought the war was being waged outside of me. My Left Road helped me to stay safe in this outer war – or so I thought. Eventually, though, I came to see that the war was inside of me. Fueled by my own disconnection from the Light, this inner war kept me on the Left Road. The safety that my Dark Side kept promising was an illusion. Instead, it was wreaking havoc in my life.
WE ALWAYS MAY BE WHAT WE MIGHT HAVE BEEN
The Right Road is always here, just as the Light of my heart, like the Light of your heart, once seen is never lost. At some point, we hear the call to return home. Often, this is when we find our way to the Process.
We can always become what we’ve always been. We just took the wrong road and lost our way. Even through sadness and grief, anger and loss, the Light always illuminates our way back home.
The Right Road never hides itself, never disappears. Instead, habit, worry, anxiety, fear, anger, judgment, and other Dark Side tactics take us over and we find ourselves back on the Left.
If at this moment you find yourself on the Left Road, remember you can choose your Right Road. In every moment, you can choose.
If you’ve strayed from the Right Road,
wandered onto your Left,
remember you can always
It’s never too late to
be what you might have been.
The star in your heart
Can’t be lost once seen.