Reflections On My Hoffman Process

Micaela Bronstein

Micaela Bronstein

By Micaela Bronstein

Before embarking on the Hoffman journey, I felt truly and utterly lost. I was a dark, wandering blob, heavy and weighed down by the intensity and pain of my fears and anxieties. I did not know where to go and what to do, or where my next step should be. I was at an impasse in my life, and it felt like everything was at a standstill. I had just come back to the U.S. after three years abroad, and I could not decipher the code of what to do next. I kept comparing myself to others around me, which filled my heart with “shoulds” and “should nots”, purely based on the outside. I had lost myself. I could not find my spiritual self, my essence. Or rather, I knew she was there but I had lost the ability to hear her, and my essence had forgotten how to speak. Her voice was muted and my ears were muffled. I could not find the right tool to set her free, to unscrew the lid.

I have now re-located the voice of my essence. I have found the strength to take off the lid, and my spirit has come pouring through. The light has spread like a river within me, the initial force so strong that I felt it physically. Like the levees breaking on a dam, the water of my spirit rushed to blanket every crevice of my body.

I feel replenished. This essence is the liquid I had starved my body of. It is the I.V. drip to quench my thirst, to revitalize my whole being. I had been dehydrated for far too long, too dizzy and lightheaded to seek the water that I needed and wanted.

The Process gave me that push to go look for the oasis in the desert. That final stretch. The power to reach deep when I thought it was a lost cause. I found my last reserves of energy and strength, and as my lips touched the water, my essence came alive, and started to feed itself with its own beauty and resilience.

I feel I have found myself again. I remember what I sound like, and this reunion has been full of comfort and joy, like meeting an old friend after years apart. I feel peace. I feel a new surge of energy and strength that I had long ago put to bed. The Process gave me the tools to dig myself back up, and I came out from underground, rejoicing and vowing that I am here to stay.

I feel the sheer power of compassion flooding my body. I had never experienced self-compassion, nor did I ever imagine the possibilities that could come from loving myself and forgiving myself. This is one of the most valuable things I learned from the Process – to love myself, to forgive myself, and to be compassionate for the mistakes I’ve made.

I unlocked a new rhetoric, a way to verbalize and identify my darkness and to then dispel it. With this labeling, this pattern I.D.-ing and tracing to uncover its origin, I am able to step back, examine, and then cut the rope, thus diminishing the power of the darkness. I learned to extract the patterns from my body, hold them in front of me, turn them from side to side as though examining a strange object, and to then disconnect from them. I am not my patterns. I am my spiritual self, of the light, and there are no dark patterns in here.

I have gained a deeper love for my parents. I have learned compassion, and from this place the love grows. I am not their patterns. They are not their patterns. They are not to blame. I see them now, in a new way. I see my mother, and I see my father, and I feel free.

I know that I will still get angry. I will still get frustrated. I still feel lost and confused. But I also feel compassion for myself, for feeling everything that I feel, good and bad, and therein lies the light. I feel strong in my light, confident in my essence. And I know that, slowly, I will start to find my way. In fact, I am already on my way. I already know where to lay my next step – right in front of me, on this beautiful Right Road.

And when I stray, I will look to my spiritual self and my spirit guide for help. As they gently place their hands on the center of my back, I will stand up straight, breathe, and dance on down the road with grace, beauty, and a new skip in my step.

Please share this with your friends and family. If you’d like more information about Hoffman courses, please click here.

Recommended Posts

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Contact Us

Please send us an email and we'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Start typing and press Enter to search