By Christine Falcon-Daigle
My 14-year marriage was over, but I couldn’t admit it. I had a seven-year-old daughter, and the thought of breaking up our family was unfathomable. I was scared, stuck, and felt totally powerless to move forward. Then between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, four separate people suggested the Hoffman Process to me. By the fourth mention of it, I had become so desperate for help, I got the number off the website, picked up the phone and made the call.
What I knew at the time was that I was seeking clarity about my then-failing marriage. What I didn’t know was that I would soon gain a new understanding of a very old, very deep childhood wound with my father.
Before the Process, I had no desire to talk to my father. I didn’t care if I ever saw him again. He had hurt me and my family so badly growing up – as far as I was concerned, he was dead. After the work I did in the Process, I was filled with a deep and genuine forgiveness and compassion for everything that had happened, as well as an understanding and acceptance – not just for myself, but for him as well.
When I completed my week at Hoffman, I couldn’t wait to see my dad. Within a week, I called him – a man I had barely spoken to in almost 20 years – and arranged to meet. One week later, we were crying in each other’s arms – something I could’ve never imagined prior to completing the Process.
Our reconciliation unlocked something inside of him. Within a couple of weeks, he had reached out to my mother, from whom he’d been divorced for 23 years, and made amends to her. To make a long story short, about a year after that, the two of them remarried! Today, they are very happy, and committed to living out the rest of their days by each other’s side.
I don’t believe any of that could have happened without the work I did at Hoffman. Yes, I did find the courage and clarity within myself to come to terms with the end of my marriage, but I also found a deep sense of forgiveness for my father that, I believe, allowed him to forgive himself. That reignited a love between him and my mother, which has made me believe in second chances.
I did wind up getting divorced – a decision that ultimately led to a new marriage for me, based on all the right reasons. Not only did I get a second chance at a happy marriage, I also got a second chance at a relationship with my dad. The self-love I discovered at the Process has spread out to everyone in my life, touching my family, friends, and everyone I come in contact with.
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