By Miriam G. Lopez
What remains after you dismantle the compulsive patterns? This is the question I’ve been asking myself lately. The truth of who I am has recently begun emerging: raw love, wholeness, goodness, worthy, lovable. Knowledge of these truths has been shifting from my head to my heart. Life is no longer in the doing but in the being – these are all things that are ingrained in me now as a result of my virtual journey with the Hoffman Institute.
Last year, while listening to the Tim Ferris podcast, Blake Mycoskie was the guest and mentioned the impact the Hoffman Process had made in his life. I googled and found the Hoffman Institute. All in-person activities were halted due to the pandemic. Virtual classes were available, and I signed up for the 2-Day Hoffman Essentials – it was the beginning of a deep transformation.
The knowledge I had gained from years of reading and seeking, combined with the Hoffman work, connected the dots in a new and empowering way. The work led me to break free from my own story.
My Virtual Journey
“I was born wrong” was my story plot. When I was born, I came as a surprise to my parents – my dad was hoping for a boy, and my mom wanted to end the pregnancy because she feared delivery complications. I would be her fifth C-section, and my grandmother had died giving birth to her. Knowing these factors were part of how I came into this world, I felt disconnected, lonely, and unlovable growing up. At 13, I delivered another surprise to them – “I am gay.” This added shame to my emotional repertoire, feeling rejected and judged by my own family.
My perceived “superpower” became people-pleasing, seeking success, and numbing with food and relationships. At a young age, I began my virtual journey by becoming an avid student in self-help and I attended workshops. I met regularly with a therapist, and had an unending hunger for healing and belonging, and to know who I was.
A PhD in Suffering
Though I had spent years trying to overcome the story that I was born wrong, the hole inside of me expanded. I had the knowledge in my head from all the development work and the affirmations – “You are good enough. Focus on the inside. Let go of the pain.” I became an expert at helping others feel better about themselves, heal, and even transform their lives. It became my work. Yet, my story plot pulled me back into suffering. I felt stuck.
After the 2-Day Hoffman Essentials, a shift happened. It was as if I, for the first time, allowed myself to feel and get curious about my emotions, understand my patterns, and allow my essence and authentic self to emerge. I felt liberated. In the months to follow, I took almost every virtual course available at Hoffman: the two-day Spirit Guided Visioning; the two-day Path of Fierce Compassion and Forgiveness; Mastering Elevators; the one-day Refresher course on Self-Compassion. I attended the Hoffman Conference: Embodying the Spirit of Change; and took the webclasses Cultivating Presence and Emotional Agility in Uncertain Times.
Shifting the Storyline
My storyline shifted from “I was born wrong” to “I am,” from compulsivity to choice, from separate to integrated. The Hoffman Essentials provided a framework, a transformative experience. It has become a way of life and a part of my daily rituals, from the Quadrinity Check-In to daily gratitude, forgiveness, and compassion routines. I am looking forward to the shifts, the awareness I will get in the Process. It will be the best journey I will take, and a gift I can give myself.
Miriam G. Lopez is the owner and founder of SeEQmore Consulting Group, an independent firm specializing in leadership training, accelerated transformation, and career coaching, and is a partner at Leadera Consulting. She has been called a success expert and is passionate about helping individuals and organizations understand and resolve what is holding them back from their full potential. A life-long learner, Miriam’s approach is collaborative, innovative, and uplifting, believing that individuals and organizations can transform instantly when they are ready for change. She lives in Houston with her two rescue dogs, Ginger and Charlie.