Finding My Little Boy Who Was Lost
By Jason Beegle
Over the years I had seen multiple therapists and pursued various modes of self-help. I had intellectually dug myself out of the “victim role” hell that I had been hiding in for 35 years. Before my Process, I had fully accepted and come to terms with the fact that I was always going to exist as an emotionally unstable, self-loathing, hair-trigger personality; always ready to pounce on anyone or anything that made me feel threatened. I had figured out how to function on a high level in corporate America. I could be the façade that everyone wanted me to be.
Finding My Little Boy
What I didn’t realize was that, in my attempt to get out of the self-created prison of being a victim, I left behind my inner child. The delicate, beautiful, bright, powerful, and resilient essence of me was buried and left alone in that self-created prison cell. Hoffman gave me the gift of awareness and action – a set of tools that, if used, could provide life-long growth and awareness, providing freedom. This is a different kind of freedom though, one of depth and permanence, true freedom.
Finding Self-Compassion & Love
Awareness, self-love, and self-compassion have changed my world view, as well as my own self-perception. These tools have shown me the path out of the darkness, the way to truly be me. Hoffman taught me how to utilize them and connect with myself, first. It’s a connection that neither therapy nor any other path led to. This connection provides a way to truly know who I am and who I want to be, void of anyone else’s demands or expectations. It has been in this connection that I have been able to find true self-compassion and love, and to become fully integrated and consciously present in my life.
This self-compassion and love has allowed me to be aware of my human tendencies, see my patterns, and now change how I respond in the world. It has been the gift of self-love that has allowed me the space and freedom to be human and make mistakes.
I will be forever grateful to the Hoffman Process, my own willingness to change, and the love and compassion that I am able to experience today.
Jason Beegle is a Hoffman grad who leads the San Francisco graduate group. He is also an Enrollment Counselor at the Hoffman Institute.
Please check out this bonus visualization, led by Hoffman teacher Steve Granville: https://www.hoffmaninstitute.org/fatherhood/