By Shawn McAndrew
Every morning during the Process, your teacher asked you, “What are you feeling?” This was a specific question, and answers such as “Fine,” “Bad,” “Good,” or “Okay” did not answer the question of “what.” Today, in this moment, during these times, let’s take a moment to ask ourselves that same question: “What are you feeling?”
Beneath the Surface
There’s no wrong answer – just be honest. Feelings are indicators of what’s going on beneath the surface. Today, I find myself vacillating between ups and downs, from moment to moment. I am reminded of the five stages of grief, which Elisabeth Kübler-Ross brought forth in her book On Death and Dying, published in 1969. Though the stages are on a continuum, she did not intend them to be thought of as linear. We can experience any of these stages in any order: denial, anger, depression, bargaining, acceptance. I have to wonder how many of these stages stem from patterns and messages we learned in childhood? I would venture to guess pretty much all of the stages come from dark side messages, with, perhaps, “acceptance” as the final word from Spirit.
As we go through our days of sheltering in grace, trying to stay connected in all the new ways we are learning, we have to be mindful of when these stages of grief arise. Let’s honor our feelings, and maybe do a Quadrinity Check-In to determine what’s real and what might be a dark side message.
No one knows when, or if, we will return to life as we knew it PC-19 (pre-COVID-19), but we all have resources – tools, practices, and loved ones – with which to cope until that day comes.
We Are Human Beings
As I walked around my neighborhood the other day, I was struck at how the birds, bees, and butterflies were free to fly anywhere they wanted. I realized that all of nature is free to continue being and doing what it does best – providing a symphony of colors, sounds, and smells for all to enjoy.
We human beings are the ones who have been put on a time out. If you remember back to your Process, the teachers talked about human “beings” as opposed to human “doings.” Now, more than ever, we get to experience this being part of ourselves, up close and personal.
What Are You Feeling?
Here’s a tip from the teachers: Start creating a Feeling Vocabulary. Everyone got a copy of the Feelings & Sensations list in the back sleeve of their binder. Make copies of it and place them around your house to refer to in the moment. As you get up each morning, do a check-in with yourself: “What am I feeling?” Stop; take a breath; then look at the list and find a word for that feeling. If the feeling serves you well, embrace it. If it needs some attention, there are plenty of resources available for you on our website and social media (FaceBook and Instagram). Or perhaps you just sit with it, be with it, and honor yourself for being human. Mindfulness, humanness, beingness, spiritualness – we’re in this together. I hope you are all well and staying in love with yourself and this world.
We are receiving a multitude of information and resources from our graduate community. We are so honored and grateful for all the information and things that our grads are doing to support their loved ones, their communities, and the world at large. We will include links to these valuable resources as they come to us. This week we are happy to refer you to a daily Zoomcast called “Rhythm & Resilience” that is offered by Michelle Robin, who, along with Hoffman teacher Crystal Jenkins, created Your Wellness Connection in the Kansas City area. Please join the Zoomcast if you can, or watch the recorded sessions here:
We also offer an article by Hoffman grad and medically perceptive consultant John Kortum here:
04/13/20 at 6:35 AM
Thank you for this lovely inspiring message. It was the first thing I read when I woke up after a peaceful night of sleep, and I cherish the tools I still use every day from my amazing Hoffman experience.
Sheltering in grace, with love to all my Hoffman brothers and sisters, Deanna
04/13/20 at 9:29 AM
You are welcome, Deanna. Here’s to more nights of peaceful sleep!